Sentimental Brilliance
by Gianduja
Summary: An AU, Shonen-Ai fic between Seifer and Squall, where Seifer's a workaholic in need of a maid. Guess who that maid will be?
1. Seifer needs a life, a maid, an attitude...

**Sentimental Brilliance**   
By: Raruku-chan 

**_Ingredients_**: Seifer x Squall (starts as shonen-ai may proceed to june or commonly called Yaoi), OOC, AU, WAFF, retarded humor, with a dash of angst. Mix in some sci-fi fantasy themes and totally improbable events, stir well then serve. 

**_Summary_**: Enter a world where Seifer is an aloof workaholic in need of a maid. When all of his friends get the brilliant idea of getting him one, he flips out on whom they choose! 

**_Author's Notes_**: No action just yet… quite a tame, stupid chapter but it sets up the story. The whole thing is alternate universe and set in a world much like ours. Hope you like it ^-^ 

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_tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap…_

Dammit. My typewriter is jammed yet again. With an unsteady hand, I fumble through my coat for a cigarette. DAMMIT again. My only pack is hidden somewhere in this room. If I only I cleaned my apartment more. 

Then again, naahh… this mess is what makes me, me. I get up from my cluttered desk to stretch for a bit. The typing can wait. It's been five years since she's died. I don't think I'll ever get over it. 

The moon stains my couch a pale blue. The color resembles her eyes. Where are my cigarettes? I could sure use one now. 

_click._

Great. It's probably them. They want to check on me like they usually do. Why can't they get off my back? I just don't want to let anyone in my heart again. It's such a disgusting romantic concept but hell it's true. 

_clunk clunk clunk_

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY~! Seiferrrrrr!!! How are yah?" a squeaky little brunette stomped into the room with muddy, black boots. 

"…Selphie, how many times must I remind you to TAKE off your shoes when entering my home." I gritted out. 

"Don't be sucha butt monkey, Seifer." Selphie giggled. I rolled my eyes at her before returning to my desk. 

"Yeah, yeah. That's me. Seifer the butt monkey." I drawled out. Where were the others? Before I could ask, Selphie opened her big mouth and answered. 

"Quistis is late 'cause she's gotta babysit Zell. Zell broke his leg in his usual extreme sports challenges. Irvine is still at work but he'll be here soon. As for me, I'm here to entertain you till our buddies arrive~!" Selphie beamed. Gods, this girl could make the sunshine look dull. 

"Entertain? You could entertain me with the notion that you'll leave." I smirked. She parried right back with a cheeky grin and a kick to my shin. Ow. 

"There. Now let's go play the game Zell lent me~!" she chimed happily, skipping out of the room. Grumbling, I rub my sore shin. 

I quietly enter my living room. Selphie is busy setting up my Playstation that Raijin had given me last Christmas. I notice she's got the game Zell was raving about weeks ago. 

"Dance Dance Revolution? Now that Zell's got a broken leg, the poor fellow can't play. I'll have to laugh at him later." I give a rare half-smile. 

Selphie gives me one of her serious faces, but they don't last too long. In less than a second, she's a giggling mess. 

"Meanie!" Selphie laughs as she continues to hook up the necessary wires for the gaming pad. 

_click._

A ginger haired metro-cowboy flashes us a smile as he enters. 

"Hey, babydoll." he says, with an arm full of take-out. Why didn't Selphie lock my door? I hate when she does that. She just lets in more roaches, I mean friends. 

"IRVINNNNNE~!" Selphie charges and tackles him. 

"Oofff.. nice to see you too." Irvine laughs. "Now, could you get off of me, please? I think the duck sauce is starting to leak on me." 

"Tee hee. Want me to lick it off?" she preens cutely. Oh god. I hate it when they get all lovey dovey. She should get spayed, he should get neutered. They're always in heat. 

"Nah, Seifer's watching. Jealous?" he asks. Hell, no. 

"Bored." I mutter, "Can't you do anything original anymore? Or will it be the usual sex kitten on my lap routine? I get off more from watching the Discovery Channel." 

"Hahahahah, so you like animal mating over porno?" Selphie snorted. 

"Hmph, you guys do both." I smirk. Irvine gently shoves Selphie off. She rolls on the floor in a rush of giggles. Irvine sighs at his lover's usual fit of laughter. 

"Hey, Selphie. I just placed in the order. It should be arriving soon," he says, while helping her up. 

"REALLY?! YAAAAAAY! I can't WAIT to see it! Which model did you order?" she jumps up and flails her arms in excitement. 

"You know which one I ordered, silly. It was the one we all decided upon." Irvine murmurs mysteriously. 

What the hell did they all order? When it was just those two talking, I figured it was some kinky sex fiend toy. Now that they mentioned the whole squad, I am rather worried. It just might be something for me. 

Now, that might sound a teeny bit selfish. How can somebody automatically assume that their friends have bought YET another stupid gift? 

Well, obviously I can. My whole apartment is littered with gifts that my friends hope will assuage my loneliness and pig sty. 

Vacuum cleaners, gaming systems, pornoes, animal simulations, a smoothie maker, a sandwich press, at least twenty irons, and MORE. You name it... I probably have it. I should open up a department store with all the crap they gave me. 

I see the mirth in their eyes and shudder. Yep, I am probably right. It's definitely another stupid, "thoughtful" gift. 

_click._

_stomp stomp stomp THUD._

"OWWWWWW~!" a spiky, fanged blonde is all disheveled on my floor. His mistress stands behind him, rolling her eyes. 

"Stop fooling around, Dincht." She mutters. Down to her last bit of patience, Quistis nudges Zell off of the ground. 

"Please be gentle, mommy." Zell snickers. Smiling deviously, Quistis drops the sorry boy back to the ground. "OWWWW! That hurt." 

"Stop being sucha butt monkey, Zell!" Selphie admonished the smarting invalid. 

"I thought I was the butt monkey?" I muttered. Hopefully, I could retreat into the bathroom and claim I had the runs. Then I could just sit and soak in the bathtub till they leave. 

"You are! But we have two butt monkeys!" she smiled, pinching my cheek. 

Sighing, Quistis ran a hand through her flaxen hair. She unceremoniously, flopped down onto the near by couch. 

"What a day! Zell would NOT stop complaining about EVERY little thing." She muttered. Irvine handed her a cup of tea, which she accepted gratefully. 

"HEY! I only complain because I NEED to complain. How else would you know how I'm feeling if I don't voice it?!" Zell grumbled while plopped beside her. 

They continued to argue. Meanwhile, Selphie and Irvine were lining up the take-out containers at the kitchen counter. 

Now's my time to escape to the bathroom. Before I make my mad dash, something stops me. 

Some stupid TV ad with a catchy tune. 

"Need companionship? Need a maid? Need someone who won't talk back? Need someone who will listen? Then call us at Loverly Lucky, where we'll get you together with you match in household chores and heartbreaking loneliness~!" 

On the screen, life-like dolls with pretty faces are shown sweeping up dust and prancing around gleefully. How can our government allow such things to exist? 

Years ago, humanoids were developed. It sounds all hokey and sci-fi induced but it's true. First they were used for scientific testing in place of animals, after being approved by the Supreme Court. Next they moved onto the consumer level. 

Initially, the extremely wealthy people could only afford them. Now, they are everywhere. Cheap, efficient, obedient dolls. I hate them. 

In the background, I hear the soft laughter of my friends. Probably, talking about the usual sitcoms they watch. 

I should go back and join them but if I do, all I'll do is just sit there and do nothing. Better to just soak in bath oils, then resume my work. 

Tomorrow is another day.   


_~ To be continued ~_   



	2. Seifer has a maid, but still needs an at...

**Sentimental Brilliance**

By: Raruku-chan 

**_Ingredients_**: Seifer x Squall (starts as shonen-ai may proceed to june or commonly called Yaoi), OOC, AU, WAFF, retarded humor, with a dash of angst. Mix in some sci-fi fantasy themes and totally improbable events, stir well then serve. 

**_Summary_**: Enter a world where Seifer is an aloof workaholic in need of a maid. When all of his friends get the brilliant idea of getting him one, he flips out on whom they choose! 

**_Author's Notes_**: Gee, the story is hardly moving along. Hopefully, this chapter will get things a going. The humanoid thing is far-fetched but hey, I did say it this story is AU. I'll give the references and dedications later… errrr, yeah. What is THIS, a term paper in need of a work citation page >_;; ?! 

**_Disclaimer_**: Oops, forgot to add one. Um, hopefully you know that I don't own Squaresoft or their characters. If you don't then… Seifer and Squall _REALLY _are lovers and they're living together with 20 cats in a cute little beige cottage with lacey curtains. There, that's the truth. Well, except for the part about the cottage ^_~ 

*** Thankees for the comments Nakiko and Zachere~! They meant lots ^-^ *** 

~CHAPTER TWO~ 

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_tip tap tip tap tip tap tap tap tap…_

My eyes hurt. I need to get a new pair of glasses. Before that, I need to get away from this tedious work. 

Moving away from the horrendous pile of paper, I stroll into the kitchen. It's a bit cleaner than usual. I guess Quistis, the neat freak, did her stuff last night. 

Heh, I remember Selphie banging on my bathroom door, demanding I come out of hiding. She wanted to see me dance to one of her favorite DDR songs*. 

I do feel a bit guilty, not hanging out with them. I just feel more comfortable by myself. It's not really social anxiety… is it? 

My stomach growls at me. It's nearly lunchtime. I head to my fridge for a carton of milk when… 

_Knock knock knock…_

Someone, other than my overly caring friends, is paying me a visit. That is, unless they forgot the keys to my place. Why did they even think of making a copy of my keys?! 

_Knock knock…_

Wait, I'm coming. When it seems my visitor has given up for departure, I open the door. A delivery man. Great, that dumb gift has arrived. He gives me nod and hands me a clipboard. 

"Mr. Almasy, I presume?" he asks rather nervously. 

"Yes, you guessed correctly. How may I help you today?" I try to be polite. Sooner I get you away, the sooner I can trash this gift and get back to work. 

"Special delivery for you, sir. Sign here, thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wheel in the package." Grunting, he pushes in a rather large crate. 

"You can leave it here, in the hallway. I can take care of it, thank you very much. Have a nice day." I mutter then shove him and his clipboard out of my apartment. 

I do not have the time to deal with this. Yet I do need a break. This package will certainly make a "pleasant" distraction. Glaring at the box, I wonder just what is it? 

Curiosity takes me as I circle around it. It's a little shorter than the door and but not as wide. How about opening it, genius? 

Taking the crowbar by my coffee table, that Quistis had brandished at Zell weeks ago, I open the crate. A flock of Teflon peanuts fly through the air. Green; white poofs cling to my blonde bangs. 

Lovely. Now what? I tear apart the wooden planks of the crate and push aside the peanuts. A metallic plate shines through the mounds of foam it was packed in. Brushing off more of the protective material, I realize the whole thing is a metallic cylinder. 

Who was this from again? I look at the mailing address. Hmmm, L & L Lab Corporations, sounds familiar. I sweep the peanuts away from the cylinder and move the planks aside too. 

I gently tap the side of it. It's definitely solid. Suddenly, a robotic voice greets me. I move back in surprise at the glowing screen that appeared. 

"Thank you for purchasing Model A117 Paradox Bleu from L & L Lab Corporations. We at L & L Lab corporations, hope you will be satisfied with your purchase. It was customized to provide you comfort. Please consult the Owner's manual for any questions and problems you may have. Thank you once again and have a wonderful time with your new friend." 

FRIEND!? Waittaminute… L & L Lab Corporation? Isn't that Loverly and Lucky Lab Corporation?! My stupid friends got me a stupid doll? 

Before I can hurl it out the door, the cylinder cracks open the reveal a glass chamber. Ice covers the inside of the tank. 

"One moment please. Your companion shall awaken in T-minus… 10… 9 … 8 … 7… 6 … 5 … 4 … 3 … 2… DING… 1~! Enjoy your friend." the automated voice chimes. It sounds awfully like Selphie. I dread this moment. 

I have done nothing to stop it. Now I shall have to face the wrath of a disgustingly sweet, pretty-faced, empty-headed dolly. Wonderful… when I see my friends later, I will throttle each and every one of them. 

The ice chamber opens like an elevator door to reveal a fully clothed humanoid. It pins me with an equally icy gaze. Frowning, it steps out of its tomblike package. 

With disinterest lingering in its eyes, the humanoid decides to check out its new environment. I sneak and few glances at it. 

It has weird clothes for a humanoid. A leather bomber jacket with fur lining, that's Quistis' touch. Leather pants with multiple belts would be Irvine's style. The disheveled-I-just-got-out-of-bed auburn hair would have to be Zell's choice. While the pale Goth-boy complexion and cruel icy blues would be Selphie's "hottie of the month" look. It's a potpourri of looks from my friends, just great. 

I don't like it one bit. 

It turns to stare at me again. Yawning, the humanoid brushes strands of hair away from its face. It's awfully pretty but why isn't it sweet-talking yet? Not that it's a bad thing that it's quiet. 

Finally, it breaks the silence. 

"…whatever." 

It seems more male, than female so I'll call it a "he" just for the hell of it. After uttering one inane word, he plops himself down on the couch. Giving me one last glare, he succumbs to a deep sleep. 

I don't like humanoids and I surely do not like this one. Angrily, I pick up my phone and call Selphie. 

_brrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee… brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee… click~!_

"Hiyaaah~! Timilt-Kinneas residence, Selphie speaking!" 

Ow, my ear. 

"_Selphie_…" I grit out, "**WHY** did you guys buy me a humanoid? You **KNOW** I hate these things!" 

"Oh… I thought you hated something else, L & L's Hammurabi Puppies or something like that." She sounded rather hurt. "We thought you would like this gift. We all pitched in money and our love and we all felt it would be the bestest gift and… sniff wh..why are you so MEAN?" 

"Selphie, your guilt trip won't work on me **THIS** time." 

The sniffling stops. A brief silence follows. 

"Oh darn. Well, it was worth a try~!" she giggled. 

"Yeah, yeah you almost had me, you little rodent." I mutter. 

"Heehee… yah, that's meeee! Selphie the widdle rodent. Anyway, I threw away the receipt 'cause I figured you would love him or something. Guess I figured wrong, huh?" she laughed nervously. 

"Indeed." There are laws against terminating Humanoids. Which I find rather weird and at the moment, annoying. 

If society lets science kill them off, why can't owners trash their humanoids too?! Shitty** double standards. The humanoid stirs from his sleep. 

"I'll be over there soon okie dokie? I just gotta walk Martine first. See yah later Seifer." 

"I'm not finished with yet, rodent." I grumble. The humanoid is reclining rather casually. After giving me a quick look, he turns his attention to the pigeons by my window. 

"Buh-byeeeeee." 

_CLICK…_

"Damn that silly rat." I mutter. He's still staring, but not at the pigeons. His blue eyes are looking at me. 

"…What is so awful about me?" he asks. 

"Everything." 

"Thanks for being specific." He gives me a wry smile before lying back down on my couch. I hope he falls off and snaps an important circuit or something. 

"Well, do you want me to list out the grievances I have against you?" I mutter, entering the kitchen to quiet down my persistent stomach. 

Shut up, I'll feed you soon. 

"Sure, why not? I need someone to babble incessantly about how horrible I am." 

"Tch, like I'd actually waste saliva complaining about you? Go play in traffic." 

He laughs at that one. It's interesting to see these Humanoids function and move like real humans. I guess that's why the word "human" is a part of the word "humanoid." 

I still don't like him. 

"I figured you would be some ice queen judging by the way you glare at me but now, you've melted." My voice is a bit muffled as I search for some cold cuts in the fridge. 

"Ice queen? Yeah, I'm certainly that most of the time, but why put you out of a job? I heard my new master was going to be quite a square. I guess the authorities were right." I turn around to see him poke at the stale bagel on the coffee table. 

"I should be insulted." My stomach continues to growl at me. 

"Score one for me. Now if you don't mind, I going back to sleep." He yawns for the umpteenth time. 

"I do mind, now get off my couch. Aren't you supposed to be somewhat useful?" I snap at him. He doesn't look the least bit sorry or upset. Just tired and frustrated with my intense dislike of him. 

"You're right. I should get up clean," the humanoid gets off the couch. "But I don't particularly feel like it at the moment. So shove it." 

I feel a vein popping in my forehead. If it weren't for the growing pain in my stomach, that humanoid would be thrown so fast out of the window that he… 

_click._

"Hi hi~! I'm hereeee~!" Selphie grins. Her dog, Martine, scampers in getting mud all over my carpet. It's true; dogs do resemble their masters. 

"Selphie. It's been about an hour since he woke up and I still don't like him. Are you SURE I can't return it?" I growl at her. My stomach growls at me. 

"Initially you may not like him, but soon he will grow on you and love shall blossom~!" she smiles. Yaoi freak. She spends way too much time and money on that stupid fetish. 

"Never." 

I turn to stare at the humanoid. He will never love me? Thank goodness. 

"EH? Why won't you love your new master?" Selphie cries. She's disappointed. 

"He doesn't have the slightest interest in me. Besides, caring for people is stupid. Last person I cared for died." 

That struck a cord. He had someone die on him too? 

Her smile flashes in my head. The memory sends jolts down my spine. I miss her. 

"Caring is GOOD! How can you be so cold." 

"Easily, now back off. I feel like cleaning now." He goes about messing up the neat piles of magazines Quistis had stacked up last night. 

"Geez, he's perfect for you." She grumbles, pushing a strand of hair from her face. Martine sits by my feet wagging his tail. 

"Not really." I say. Giving up on my search for cold cuts, I grab the leftover take-out Irvine brought over last night. 

Martine toddles off to sniff the humanoid. I stifle a laugh as the humanoid smacks the dog. Selphie then proceeds to smack the humanoid. 

"Bad Squall, BAD!" she growls. "He's just as bad as you Seifer!" 

Squall? It is an appropriate name for the humanoid. I would have named him Squabble or Snowbrat. 

While heating up the food, I hear Squabble yanking Martine's tail in wonder and Selphie squawking at him. 

I hate to admit this but he is growing on me.   


_~ To be continued ~_

***NOTE**: DDR is Dance Dance Revolution~! Ever play that game? It's mad fun but mad hard (if you're uncoordinated like moi). I think Selphie would like the song Butterfly or Boom Boom Dollar. AHAHAHAHHHA, can you imagine Seifer dancing to THAT?! 

**** **YEEP! He cussed. Woooo. Hope that didn't bother anyone. In the fic, I see Seifer as a potty mouth ^_^;;   



	3. Seifer had a maid, but now he's gone...

Sentimental Brilliance 

By: Raruku-chan

**_Ingredients:  Seifer x Squall (starts as shonen-ai may proceed to june or commonly called Yaoi), OOC, AU, WAFF, retarded humor, with a dash of angst. Mix in some sci-fi fantasy themes and totally improbable events, stir well then serve._**

**_Summary: Enter a world where Seifer is an aloof workaholic in need of a maid. When all of his friends get the brilliant idea of getting him one, he flips out on whom they choose!_**

**_Author's Notes: Yaaay~! I'm rather happy the humanoid idea was well received. I was doubtful that anyone would like it ;_; Sorry I took a bit too long to write this chapter. I got major blockage in the brain… still do, argh. Where do I go now? Hmm, hope you like this part. Sentimental will probably only have 5 parts to it. That is… if I don't get TOOcarried away ^-^;;_**

OH~! I almost forgot, someone wondered where Fuujin and Raijin were. Here they are, in this chapter, along with Rinoa! Damn, this chapter is BIG! I just wanted to get as much as I can into it. Hope you guys don't mind.

**_Disclaimer: Oops, forgot to add one. Um, hopefully you know that I don't own Squaresoft or their characters. If you don't then… Seifer and Squall REALLY are lovers and they're living together with 20 cats in a cute little beige cottage with lacey curtains. There, that's the truth. Well, except for the part about the cottage ^_~_**

~CHAPTER **THREE~**

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_ tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap tap tap tip… SMACK _

"Must you always work this much?" Squabble complains.

My head smarts. He didn't have to hit me that hard. Violent little twit.

We've been together for a week and two days now. Not really a long time to get to know a person. So far we've managed to get along somewhat and pick up on certain mannerisms we each possess. 

Squabble tends to be stoic and cold to my friends, yet to me he is anything but.

"If I don't work, I have to hang out with you. Working is by far, the lesser evil compared to you." I block the stapler he throws at me with a binder.

Truth is, I'm starting to like his company. Ick.

It's been a week and two days of just being with him. I doubt that I'll be tired of his presence anytime soon. How sickeningly sweet of me to say.

From the corner of my eye, I can see him "cleaning" my room. He knocks the books off my shelf. Then he goes about scattering crumpled bits of paper he took out of the trash bin.

 My friends are coming over in less than an hour. Squall intentionally makes a mess so Quistis will yell at me. Nice of him, huh?  She tends to blame me for the damage Squall causes. In her eyes, he can do no wrong.

"Squabble, you are just pure evil." I mutter flipping through the data my boss sent me. Squall drops some file folders onto the floor. He hops onto my leather computer chair and spins around in it a few times.

"Ooh, that hurt." He puts on a sad puppy face. "I shall now fling myself off a one story building… but first, try telling me something I don't know. I know that I'm pure evil, not from concentrate like you are."

"Ha hah, very cute Squabble. Am I the evil with 5% juice and no pulp?" I drawl out. He continues to spin in the chair.

"Nah, just 2% juice." Squall throws me a grin before running out of the room.

He soon returns with a cup of hot jet-black coffee. I shake my head. I hate having drinks and food in my office. It just leads to unwanted stains on important documents.

Squall can mess around with papers and whatnot because I can reorganize things once he leaves the room.

With a hint of disdain, I glare at the cup. I don't want him to dirty my workroom.

"If you spill it I will use your skin to wipe it up, you hear me?" I warn him. He brushes off my threat with a smile, walking towards me.

"Tsk tsk, you can't catch bees with vinegar, Seifer."

"So you want me to butter you up, Squabble?" I raise an eyebrow. Heh, if he was a bee, I'd hardly be scared of his stinger.

"Ew, no." he makes a face and obliviously steps towards me. Unfortunately, my open suitcase lay before his feet.

"Be carefu…"

It takes a few seconds for him to trip. The cup is thrown into the air. For only a moment the coffee forms a dark halo around him.

I can see him wince as it scalds him slightly. He drops to the floor, the cup just a few inches away from him.

In these few seconds… I've seen Squall beyond the cold humanoid exterior. What lies before me is a clumsy, coquettish human who is in pain.

He could be teasing me with the notion that he is hurt. Yet when I look into his eyes, the pain is certainly visible. Should I reach out to him? Let my façade drop?

"Sor.. sorry. I stained your carpet. Guess you're going to use my pelt to clean it up now, right?" Squall gives me a sad smile. Sitting up beside the dark brown patch, Squall rubs his red skin.

I ignore him and stare with annoyance at the carpet stains.

I know I'm being mean, but I can't help it. Squall says nothing. Walking out, I go to the kitchen for paper towels.

Soon I return with a bottle of carpet cleaner, three rolls of paper towels, an ice pack, and some aloe cream. I try to clear my eyes of any trace of anger or irritation.

Being pissed off isn't going to help the situation, Almasy.

His eyes avoid mine. Are you embarrassed? How humanly you are, Squall. I approach and kneel beside him.

"It's alright. I'm not angry."

"Yeah right. Besides, who cares." He grunts out. Clumsiness, sorrow, pain, stubbornness. What a tease you are.

"I care, you dip. Now show me your burns." I command him. Clutching his arms firmly, I bring him close to me. His eyes still don't meet mine.

"NO. NOW GET OFF. Why care about me? I provoked you. I stained your carpet. Get back to your work. That matters more to you than me, right?! I'm just the useless humanoid you didn't want. Back off before I rip you a new ass hole, you hear me?!" he growls, then pushes me away.

"Why did you bring in the coffee?" he's wearing down my patience.

Squall rubs his eyes before taking a deep breath.

"A…around this time, you usually go into the kitchen for coffee. I brewed some and left it on the counter for you, but you didn't come out. Then I came into your office to see what kept you from your coffee break. When I saw you were so wrapped up, I decided to loosen you up… and bring you your coffee. I didn't mean to ruin your carpet." Squall murmurs.

My eyes grow wide. After she died, people rarely thought of what I liked or wanted. Everyone assumed that I wanted this and needed that.

He quietly watched me for a week and two days. Thoughtfully, he brewed me coffee just the way I like it and left it at the place I usually drink it.

 The silence hangs in the air like a thick fog. Slowly, he tilts his head up. Our eyes meet and lock in a mesmerizing sea of colors.

  I gently dab and massage his scalded skin with the aloe lotion. It feels so real. Squall winces but soon relaxes. I feel so silly.

I'm putting lotion on a humanoid. The ice pack is placed onto his arm. He lets out a sigh and gives me an apologetic smile.

"Don't look at me that way." I frown and then he frowns, " I'd definitely benefit from another ass hole. Pop me another, Squabble."

A smile immediately appears on his face.

"Heh, sure. Big or small?" He laughs. I gingerly touch his arm; he draws in a breath. A tint burns his pale cheeks. Is that what I think it is?

_(click_…

 Damn, they are here already?

"OWWWWWWWW! HEY, that HURTS!" a familiar, squawky voice hollers.

"Quiet down, Dincht. Walking hurts you? What do you want me do to? Carry you?" Quistis sighs.

"Nah, I can do it. I'm a big boy." More like a big idiot. I can just picture the stupid grin he has plastered on his face.

_thud thud thud STOMP CRASH_…

 How clumsy can that dumbass be? I hear chairs falling down and an angry Quistis smacking her "dorkus supremeus."

 The coffee stain can wait. Squall and I leave the office to greet them. Well, sorta. If I don't come out, they'll be forced to hunt me down.

 "Sup, Seifer!" Zell waves to us from the floor. He grins at Squall. "What's with the long face? Seifer beat you again with the massive stick hanging outta his ass?!"

 Squall scowls and then turns around to avoid him.

 "Don't be obnoxious, Dincht!" Quistis snaps, then turns on her motherly care full blast. "What's wrong, Squall?"

 He spares her a quick glance. A hint of mirth flits in his snow blue eyes.

 "Lucky," Zell mopes, looking at Squall as he walks towards his usual spot. "He gave you a friendly look today."

 Quistis just shrugs. She views the dirty kitchen with slight irritation. Last night, Squall dirtied my kitchen with glee.

Zell, the official Chicken stupid, waddles over to the couch and tries converse with Squall. He's been trying to spark a hint of warmth from Squall instead of the usual cold shoulder. My humanoid continues to ignore Zell.

 I try to cover my steadily growing smile with my coffee mug. Don't want Squabble to see me pleased with him.

 "Hm, you're smiling aren't you?" Quistis looks at me.

 "So what if I am?" My eyes narrow. "I'm allowed to smile."

 "Yes, you are entitled to such but what are you smiling at? Squall, right?"

 I roll my eyes, then feign boredom.

 "Me? Smile at that pesky humanoid? I'm merely smiling at Zell's usual display of stupidity, one of life's pleasures."

 "Stop lying and admit it. You were smiling at Squall." She looks determined.

 "Tch, you're wrong. I was smiling at what Squall was doing." There I came out clean… somewhat. Quistis shakes her head at the comment.

 "Stop acting impassive. It's getting you no where. When you first got Squall, you claimed that you wanted nothing to do with him. Yet each visit I noticed that you are quickly softening up to him." She mutters, waving a soapy gloved finger at me.

 "QUISTIS!" Zell yelped. "Squall's being mean!"

 "That's because you're being annoying, Zell. Don't think for one minute that I can't hear you over the din of the dishwasher. Leave Squall alone. Interrupt me again and you'll be sleeping on the floor for weeks." Quistis growls.

 As I said, Squall can do no wrong.

 In the background, I hear Squabble's soft snickering. He turns his gaze to me. His eyes sparkle with an emotion lost to me. What the hell do they put in his eye fluids to make them glitter so?! The warmth of it drags me in helplessly.

 Need to search for a distraction. Need to avoid his gaze. Arbitrarily, I mutter some lame ass excuse.

 "I'm going out to get some groceries." I grab my coat and run to the door. Quistis narrows her eyes at me, muttering about my cowardice and crappy excuse.

 "Can I come too?"

 "No, chicken wuss, you cannot come with me." I smack him. There's no way I'd let that big-mouthed invalid follow me.

 "I'm going with you, no matter what you say."

 Squabble stands near me. He tightly clutches my coat. Angrily, I try to tug it out of his hands.

 "Get. Off. Squabble." I grit out, giving him an evil eye. He shrugs it off and glares right back.

 "No." Squabble grips onto my coat and nearly tears it out of my grasp.

 "You're going to rip it, Squabble. Don't make me swat you, pest." I grumble. Halfheartedly, I smack his head. Why do they give humanoids such soft and nice hair?! Where did THAT thought come from?!

 "No. What part of NO, do you not understand, Almasy?!" He growls at me, baring is fangs like some stubborn puppy. Humanoids are equipped with fangs too? What the hell?

 "The N. Or was it the O? I think it's both parts, now off with you."

 Finally, too frustrated with my refusal to let him go with me, Squabble walks away dejectedly. My coat is pulled out of my reach. It drops to the floor with a defeated flop. Silently, I bend down to retrieve my coat.

Letting out a soft sigh, I turn around to touch the doorknob. Suddenly, Squabble whips around with an evil grin and tackles me. He latches onto me like a rabid koala.

 "Thought I gave up, eh? Well think again, bastard!" Squabble snickers, messily ruffling my hair. We topple over in a mess of arms and legs. "Say uncle!"

 "… urrrgh, uncle. Fine, you brat. You can come." I mutter. A triumphant grin shines upon his generally stoic face.

 Zell glares at us from the corner. Squabble soon gets off of me. I miss that warm presence on top of me… GODS, what the hell am I thinking?! Quit being remotely hormonal, Almasy.

 "HEY! Why does HE get to go with you!?" Zell whines.

"I prefer to be seen with intelligent life forms. If I wanted something vacuous, I'd bring a sponge. Please do us all a favor and go sit in the corner to throw your hissy fit, princess. Be back in a few, Quistis." 

I smile evilly at the sulking dorkwad and walk out with victoriously grinning Squabble in tow. Quistis shakes her head but gives me a smile.

As I'm closing the door, random obscenities are being thrown at me. How eloquent of you Zell.

We walk in silence for a bit. Squabble tries to follow my long strides. My legs are a bit longer than his are.

"Being an unemotional jerk isn't very nice. Then again, being nice is not one of your virtues." He murmurs.

"What are you babbling about? One moment you're grinning like a madman, the next you're acting like a scorned woman. What's wrong with you, Squabble?"

 I nervously run a hand through my messy bangs. They need to be cut.

"Nothing's wrong with me. Something's wrong with you though. You got all jumpy and tried to leave… just because I looked at you?"

"You gave me one of those disgusting sappy warm looks for no apparent reason. Of course I would opt to look away."

"I did NOT give you such a look!" he growls, poking my back angrily. It tickles. We should both stop denying things. If we do what would happen to our relationship? I pray that we never reach that point.

He's just a robot. Well, part of one. What's the other half? Human?

"You di…" This is going nowhere, "listen let's stop arguing like little kids and go get the frigging groceries, okay?"

"Fine with me." He crosses his arms, then pouts.

I haven't brought him out too often. We usually stay indoors. Squabble tends to look out the window whenever I don't argue with him. He claimed to be alive once. I don't believe him.

If you see how he gawks at his surroundings, you'd doubt that he has lived before too. Cars, skyscrapers, or anything else in a huge metropolis would surprise no normal human. Yet look whom I'm referring to… Squabble the humanoid. He's a far cry from being normal.

Squabble walks for a bit, stops for a bit, then resumes walking again.

"Just what are you doing?" I ask him.

"Trying to get my shoes as dirty as possible so I can make your plush white carpet a lovely shade of brown." he grins. "What do you think I'm doing?"

"…" I shake my head. Maybe I could push him into a busy street. Or sell him to a shady sex fiend shop.

"Hey, where are you going?" Squabble drags my coat, pulling me closer to him.

"Let go of me, Squabble." I scowl. How dare he interrupt my devious plans of his downfall! Squabble pushes me through one of those automatic opening doors, found mainly as supermarket entrances.

"We're at the place you usually buy groceries, stupid."

"Oh." Great, I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I really didn't notice my surroundings. Am I really becoming that stupid? Must be from seeing Squabble and Zell too much. This brings up another question…"How did you know this was the place I buy from?"

"Easy, for I… am a genius." Putting a hand over where his heart would exist, "I happened to observe what name's on the plastic bags that sit in your cabinet. The name matches the supermarket, where you buy your groceries!"

"Tch, that means nothing. I might have the bags in my house, but they could have been brought in by other people." I say while pushing a cart on the side into the store.

"Hm, yeah I guess but I DID see you carry in a bag one day with the store's logo on it on more than one occasion." He hops onto the side on the cart nearly tipping it over. I grab him before he falls.

"Why are we discussing something so stupid…" I let go of his shirt. Why is he so clumsy when we're alone? He acts so serious around everyone else. "Be careful, stop fooling around, Squabble."

"This topic's not stupid. I'm trying to um, yeah maybe it is a little inane." Squabble fidgets with his sleeves. "I'm not fooling around. I'm just testing your patience."

I ruffle his hair.

"Keep up the good work and I'll throw you into the nearest trash compactor."

"Sure you will."

"Yep, and when you come out of it you'll make quite a fancy paper weight." I smile. He makes a squnchy little face as his nose wrinkles. I laugh while dodging his punch. Soon he hits me again, this time with a mop from a near by display. "Ow! What the hell?!"

Squabble snickers evilly, smacking my butt with the mop. Damn that little robomonkey. I'll get him… quickly I snatch a mop and abandon the shopping cart.

"Hah! Touché." He smacks my butt again, then aims for my head. Before I can parry the blow and hit him, Squabble hops onto the shopping cart and goes flying across the aisles. My eyes narrow as I chase after the delinquent.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not pissed… but I'm sure as hell loving every moment of this. We fight in a mock swordplay with the mops.

I wonder which of my friends installed this skillful swordsmanship into him? Or was it carried over from his so-called previous existence as a real boy.

The voice on the loudspeaker announces every aisle that we storm through needs a clean up. We make quite a mess fighting. I have a feeling she's going to come a kick my ass. I've got about five minutes before she comes to heave Squabble and me out of the store.

Eeep… I feel her chilly presence behind me already…

"RAGE!"

Oh crap. She's here already.

"Hm?" Squabble hops of the shopping cart he's been using as a battering ram.

"Heh… um, hey Fuujin! How's it going? Long time no see…" Never has anyone really made me as nervous as she does. I adore her though. We've been friends for the longest time.

"MESS! CLEAN! NOW!" her eyes narrow at me. She doesn't need to point or even make me notice the mess Squabble and I made. The cans of meat by-product and bags of frozen food lay sprawled on the floor like corpses and causalities of our battle.

Like a jittery cadet in front of his noble, veteran captain… I make a mad dash to clean the place up.

"Wow, who's she?" Squabble tips over the display I set up again. I flick my finger at his forehead.

"Leave me alone or clean. Those are your options."

"Thanks for skirting the topic." He mutters as he rubs his forehead.

"WORK." Fuujin growled at Squabble. His shoulders tense. I foresee a verbal brawl between these two.

Yet what I predict, doesn't occur.

Instead, the robotic deviant does what he's told and cleans. That is, till he wanders off to the next few aisles. When he's out of my sight, who knows what he does? Probably making more of a mess to piss Fuujin off. Smart, humanoid… he avoided conflict with her.

"FEELING?"

"I'm feeling peachy and rather outta shape. My body doesn't handle exercise like it used to, due to my butt-growing, paper pushing job." 

I laugh. The peas are quickly restocked onto the shelf.

"GOOD."

"I missed you, sorry I haven't really been around." She doesn't usually say much, but her one eye, that's not covered with the eye-patch, says it all. Cliché, but true.

"HAPPY."

"I'm happy that you're happy." She gives me a smile. "Geez, that sounded awkward. Must be coming from the stupidity that's been munching on me since that humanoid arrived."

"HIM?"

"Yeah, that guy that helped make this mess is really a humanoid. The gang got it for me recently as their usual lame ass attempt to cheer me up."

"STILL SAD?"

"A little… Fuck it, I miss her very much. I…" The words lump down my throat like half-chewed food. I lower my gaze to the chipped, pink tiled floor.

A hand is placed on my head. It lowers to my back and starts to move in a circular motion. It's an endearing gesture and reminds me of the times my late beloved used to soothe me the same way.

I stand there silently bowing my head. There is never a need for words between us, only the silence of solace and the dull drone of a supermarket during its afternoon hours.

It seems silence can be held for a little only to be shattered by something irritating, enter Squabble. His fluffy brown head peers through a rather large display of laundry detergent. A frown that deepens into scowl sets onto his face. Is he jealous?

"Tee hee hee! Come baaack here pretty pretty boy!" a girly voice that makes Selphie and even Zell sound less giddy and hyper than what they are. Now that's damn hard to do, I never want to see such a person. Judging from the proximity of the voice, I'll bet she'll be tromping over soon.

"…" My humanoid drags himself from behind the colorful boxes. The voice grows louder. Damn it.

"Eeeeeeh! How strong you are! Wait! That must mean I'm faaaat and heavy! Do you think I'm faaaat and heavy, do you?! Waaaah!"

"…" The owner of the voice soon appears from behind the display too. Her arms and body are clutching tightly onto Squabble.

"Oooooh! You're handsome too!" the petite little squeaky monster ogles at me. Squabble gives me a wary look.

"Pardon me, but you have taken hold of my property." She looks familiar. Quickly, my mind makes a mad dash to figure it out.

"Wooooow… you seem smart too! Daddy and the director lady say I'm not so smart but I'm prrreetty!" she giggles. Wait, I've seen her somewhere. She's one of the world's most adored idol singers, Rinoa Heartilly. The shrill voice strikes a cord of fear in me.

"RETURN HIM." Fuujin wastes no time.

"Whoooo? Him?" Rinoa smiles cutely. Ugh. Then turns to point at the humanoid. "Why? He's pretty and so am I! It's a good pair."

"NOW." My dearest Fuujin sends a deadly glare at the petite idol.

I can see this cushy idol as a rat in a maze. Sure, it'll run into pitfalls here and there, well in her case probably most of the time. Sooner or later, it'll learn… that is when the onset of pain is introduced.

She shrinks under Fuujin's gaze.

"Eeep!" She lets go reluctantly. "I'm telling on you!"

Rinoa scampers off after sticking her tongue at us. Squabble lets out a sigh, smiling at his savior Fuujin. She shrugs then points to the mess.

"CONTINUE."

Obediently, he kneels to the floor and gathers up the remaining cans and bags. I should have Fuujin teach him how to be more reliable and less clumsy.

"Thanks Fuu." I smile. Squabble averts his eyes. "Where's Raijin?"

"WORKING."

"Thanks for being specific, Fuu. Is he still at the arcade?"

She shakes her head.

"BODYGUARD."

"Great. Sure he gets a kick out of that. Probably sees himself as some secret agent man." We both laugh. I can feel Squabble fuming silently. Stop the emotional overflow.

His arms are full of cans. He tries to stand up, only to fall on his back and drop the cans. With a flushed face, he crawls over to the next few aisles to retrieve them.

You would think I would have learned my lesson. The first time he wandered off, he returned with an annoying bundle of cutesy-ness hanging off his arms. What would happen the next time that he returned?

I'm reading way too much into this. Ignoring the onslaught of this foreboding feeling, I walk with Fuujin towards her cashier station to continue reminiscing about our past.

As we pass the frozen foods section, I bump into someone. The person dropped his briefcase and a peculiar looking cell phone.

"Ex… excuse me." He muttered.

"No, excuse me. I was the one who knocked you over." I offer politely to pick up all his items. He lets me grab his leather case and the few papers that fell out. Before I can reach for his phone, he quickly snatched it away.

Nervously, he flipped the top of the phone and revealed a blue screen.

"Thank you, sir." He smiled warmly,closing the device. "Have you seen a burly man named Raijin? I have heard that he stops here frequently."

The man was old and judging from the lab coat, he was probably a doctor of some sort. Fuujin nods.

"YOUR BODYGUARD?" she asks. I guess she's heard about Raijin's clients. I wouldn't doubt it. The guy had a big mouth.

"Why yes. Is he around? I paged him a while ago. I need to have him here now, I have a urgent matter to deal with."

 "Pardon my intrusion, sir but are you in danger?" I laugh internally at my question. It sounds immensely dumb. It seems that I have been around Zell too much.

 The man gives yet another warm smile.

 "No, no I'm alright. I just need the fellow's strength to help me obtain and lift something precious to me."

 "Oh, alright. I'm not sure where Raijin would be right now but…"

 "SEIFER, Look Fuu it's SEIFER y'know!" Speak of the devil.

 Fuu rolls her eyes. Raijin's client smiles at the big lug.

 "Sorry ta keep yah waiting Doctor Kramer, there was traffic y'know." He sheepishly rubs his head. The doctor's eyes showed understanding.

 "It is fine, we are most certainly on schedule. I have found what I am looking for. Have you brought the supplies I gave you?" The so-called Dr. Kramer asked Raijin. The latter nodded at opened his fist to reveal a case that contained a small pistol with a needlepoint end.

 Fuujin tugged on my arm to tell me this was none of our business. I was just about to agree, until I saw the name on the box… Model A117 Paradox Bleu from L & L Lab Corporations. That is Squall's model number and name.

 She dragged me outside. I allowed myself to be brought there. I blatantly ignored the evil gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach.

 "CIGARETTES?" A pack was offered to me. My eyes stared off into the space. Was he in danger? Certainly he could try to fight the doctor off, but with Raijin, that'd be a different story. Brawn may not be everything, but speed and wits can only take you so far before you get clobbered. Damn, what AM I thinking?!

 Who the hell would want the dysfunctional brat anyway? I turn my attentions back to Fuujin. She sighs.

 "THINKING?"

 "No really."

 "HUMANOID?"

 "Unfortunately." My thoughts are being occupied by him more and more.

I take a clove out and light it. This'll soothe me for a bit.

Ah, been a long time since I've had one. Squall decided to flush out the packs I had down the toilet. That earned brownie points with Quistis.

We lean against the window ledge, when Fuujin suggests we sit on the benches. Sounds agreeable. When have I lounged like this? Before we reach the seats, a voice from the speakers hanging above us blares out loud.

"Warning, there is an active virus in the store. Warning, there is an active virus in the store… Stay where you are, It shall be contained soon. Stay where you are, It shall be contained soon." It admonishes the customers and staff.

"Fuujin, what's going on?" I grumble. The cigarette falls out of my hand. My eyes narrow. No, please tell me I'm seeing things.

Seconds to minutes fly by and the doors slam open. Crowds of people gather together inside the building. My eyes ignore them all. All I see is a limp body sagging in Raijin's arms. Dr. Kramer follows closely behind, smiling ravenously.

"Thank you for remaining calm during the crisis. Staff will soon assist in a brief and safe evacuation process."

I stay frozen and only start to thaw when herds of people and staff go charging through the open doors. It's like a nightmare set in slow motion.

One moment, I'm dreaming pleasantly, having sword fights with my Squabble. The next, I see a lifeless, almost frozen shard of what appears to be Squall. What have I done… what have I NOT done?!

Virus. Squall. Virus. Squabble. How the fuck does this all connect? Finally regaining all my senses, I angrily push through the crowd.

A black Lincoln Townscar pulls up in front of Dr. Kramer. Raijin opens the door and slips my humanoid in. I don't give a damn about this virus shit I want him back.

A policeman stops me from approaching them.

"Sir, for your own safety… don't go near the specimen."

"… Fuck off, he's mine." I growl. The door slams, I see and hear the car pull away. No… goddamn it NO!

"Sir, back away now or…"

"What?! You'll fucking arrest me? Good, go right ahead…"

 "STOP." Fuujin pulls me away. She gives me a good punch to the gut.

 "Fu…Fuu, please… go away." I mutter miserably. The policeman growls at me but then turns his attentions to the frantic crowd of people. "I made a fucking stupid mistake and now he's gone. How and WHY the hell did this happen?! I… I gotta call Quistis and 

Selphie…"

 Fuujin hands me her phone. Shaking and on the brink of tears, I call them. Why the fuck am I crying… he meant nothing to me right?

 Keep telling yourself that, Almasy.

~ _To Be Continued_ ~


	4. Seifer's off to get his maid back...

**Sentimental Brilliance**

**By**: Raruku-chan 

**_Ingredients_**: Seifer x Squall (starts as shonen-ai may proceed to june or commonly called Yaoi), OOC, AU, WAFF, retarded humor, with a dash of angst. Mix in some sci-fi fantasy themes and totally improbable events, stir well then serve. 

**_Summary_**: Enter a world where Seifer is an aloof workaholic in need of a maid. When all of his friends get the brilliant idea of getting him one, he flips out on whom they choose!**__**

**_Author's Notes_**: Fun. Um, chapter four. Got this far… almost done. Thanks to everyone who's read this far. I had difficulty writing this chapter b/c it's the one before the last one and I didn't know how to start. I most certainly had difficulty in making Seifer, act like a Seifer… even now I'm still confused o_O;; 

I do hope I've written the characters decently. If not, beat me! This chapter has been sitting in my hard drive unfinished and barely touched. Here I go again, writing in hopes of making it readable and enjoyable. I do NOT want to write just to get it done (which was how I felt when I did a trashy job towards the end of Chapter three), I want to write for the sake of writing and put forth a demned good effort… I hope I made sense… >_;; Well, enough babbling! Onward, that is if you haven't bailed out this whole blockage of text. Muah! 

**_Disclaimer_**: Um, hopefully you know that I don't own Squaresoft or their characters. If you don't then… Seifer and Squall REALLY are lovers and they're living together with 20 cats in a cute little beige cottage with lacey curtains. There, that's the truth. Well, except for the part about the cottage ^_~ 

~**CHAPTER FOUR**~ 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

_tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock… clik…_

The small clock on the Formica counters of the kitchen was beginning to grind her nerves. Quistis had left the window side to rip out its batteries. Soon after, she returned to lean against the plush curtains she helped put up when Seifer first moved in. 

The others, who usually paraded into Seifer's apartment, sat together on the couch, talking about anything and everything. Selphie expected the best. She figured since the two were so late, they _must_ be making out. Irvine just laughed, while Zell blushed at that thought. The chicken doof wondered if Squall was even equipped for such action. Selphie just snickered and hummed her favorite porno tune. 

Quistis merely smiled and shook her head at their discussion. Like everyone in the group, Quistis was curious as to where Seifer and Squall had disappeared. She had been standing by the window, waiting for Seifer and his "dearest" to return. 

"Standing there won't make them return faster." Irvine looked over his shoulder to still see Quistis keeping a vigilant watch. The ginger haired metro-cowboy hated to admit it and put a damper on the group, but he too was getting very worried. He opted for a funnier choice of words to mask to anxiety. "Relax, I'm sure Squall is giving our adorable Almasy buttloads of trouble." 

"Hee hee… buttloads of trouble. What kinda butt trouble? Does Squall wanna be on top?" Selphie giggled madly. Zell squawked at what he dubbed 'scandalous.' 

Quistis sighed. Maybe some tea would help. Standing for a few hours did not do wonders for her already tired feet. She decided to relax, as Irvine had suggested and thereafter, return to her look out post. 

No sooner had she left the perimeter, Seifer had walked by and gone to the door. The doorman that generally worked there in the evening times greeted him. It was rather dark and far after the time the police and authorities had come to the grocery store and taken Squall away. Seifer had long resolved on what he should do. 

Walking up the stairs, he approached the door to his apartment. His keys jingled a bit as he took them out. 

_clingcling…click._

A familiar, kindly blonde stood a few feet away from him, making a kettle of Earl Grey Tea. She looked relieved, yet surprised at the same time. Where was the one you left with? Where was he? His expression was unreadable and for a while, she feared to tread any further. 

"Ar… are you okay? We were worried." Quistis calmly walked over to him. The laughter of Selphie could be heard in the background. 

Seifer looked at her with lack of emotional output. He did not care. 

"I'm fine. Listen, I'm hungry. Do you guys want to go out and eat? I'll pay, it'll be my treat." Seifer smiled. Selphie stopped giggling. Irvine looked perplexed, while Zell still muttered about Selphie's indecency. 

"Okay. Seifer comes in, minus the humanoid and offers us some eats," the squeaky girl muttered. "Where is the REAL Seifer Almasy and what have you done with him~!?" 

Irvine rolled his eyes and took to a more probable answer. 

"Don't tell me you sold him and the money you're willing to spend on us is the cash you got off by cashing him in. He was a _special_ model, one of a kind, customized by us…" the cowboy jokingly grumbled. 

"Special, customized… huh?" Seifer looked down, his eyes became a bit glassy and unfocused. Force of habit made him reach for the cigarettes Fuujin had given him. He whipped out a lighter and brought the stick to his lips. 

_click click click click click…snap… click click click…_

"Stop, drop the lighter NOW." A hand batted the dried lighter out of his hand. He shivered. The unlit cigarette dropped to the floor. 

"Was that virus you gave him… was that virus in him… was that what made him FUCKING special?! You _fucking_ tell me that." The enraged blonde yelled at them. They were, needless to say, shocked. 

"Vir…virus? A virus? Why would _we_ install that?!" Selphie's eyes narrowed and she frowned at Seifer. "What happened?" 

He slumped to the floor, eyes closing slightly. Images replayed, nothing too vivid, most forgotten and lost in those hours of smoking and wandering. 

"Isn't it obvious." Seifer croaked. 

"Not obvious enough." Zell muttered. Selphie smacked him. 

"Seifer," Selphie walked over to him. Quistis and Irvine stood close by; Zell grumbled from his spot on the couch, the whole room was lulled into an uncomfortable silence. "What virus?"   
  
"What the fuck is with all the long faces… he's gone. He's _fucking_ gone. Good riddance… We should be happy to be rid of him… Stop being so fucking grave." Seifer reached for the fallen cigarette and empty lighter. 

"Seifer, what are you talking about… good riddance? Happiness due to his departure?" Selphie frowned. "Your hysteria doesn't seem to be caused by your elation of his departure… of Squall's departure." 

She angrily kicked away his lighter, and then snubbed the unlit cigarette. 

"… fuck this… I'm happy without him, I'm fucking ecstatic. Look at me… crying tears…" Seifer growled sourly. Selphie kneeled down in front of him. 

"Calm down…" she murmured. "I hate being serious and not childish… but listen to me, you have to calm down and tell us what happened…" 

"No…" Seifer hid his face. He tried to curl into a ball, to leave this place. Why should he deal with this? He should give them all a good thrashing and then head back to his paperwork. 

"Seifer. Seifer. SEIFER! Drag your sorry head out of your sorry ass NOW. Moping isn't your thing, you snotty whiny little assmunch… Tell us what's wrong or… or… um…" Zell stood there by the couch, hoping for protection. Everyone else had been surrounding the kneeling, pouty Almasy, trying to coax him into telling them his troubles. He didn't really like the venomous way Seifer was glaring at him presently. "Eeeep…" 

"Well said." Irvine clapped. Then muttered that Dincht was a dead man. 

Seifer stood up and was prepared to vent on Zell… but Selphie stopped him. 

"Before you beat the poo outta Zell and straw feed it to him, tell us about this devious virus." Selphie tackled Seifer. 

He grumbled. Zell jumped onto couch, latching onto for his life. It was Italian, imported, and leather… Seifer would want to keep blood off the seats. 

"What is there to say…" Seifer sighed. "We went to the supermarket, I saw Fuu and Raijin… who was with a man named… Kramer. That man took Squall away. There I said it, now let me rip Zell a new… asshole…" 

Seifer sighed again, reminded of Squall by that threat. He remembered, the awkward looks they exchanged when the hot coffee burned Squall and stained his rug. He remembered the faint blush that painted Squall's cheeks in a hue that almost, just almost resembled… love. Quickly as the thought appeared, it was spirited away by an irritated shrug. 

"The virus. Virussssssss… like now… tell ussssss…" Selphie was still hanging off his shoulders hissing. 

"Fine. Kramer spoke of Paradox Bleu. Happy, good… Get off of me." 

Selphie didn't need to be commanded for she just fell off of Seifer. Sinking to the ground, almost bonelessly, she stared at the ground for a bit. 

"Paradox Bleu… Paradox Bleu… arrrrrrgh, if only I paid attention." Selphie smacked her forehead a few times. 

"Paradox Bleu? Isn't that the same code that we had to sign in to get Squall from the Specials department at L & L lab corporations?" the ginger haired, cowboy dubbed Irvine asked from his position of the steps in front of the door. 

"Is Seifer pacified yet? My butt is hurting from all this sitting!" Zell complained. His knuckles were white from gripping to couch seats to hard. 

"If you move from that couch, chicken wuss, your ass won't be the only thing hurting when I'm through with you." Seifer growled. The chicken 'eep'-ed again, then buried his head under the seats. 

"Paradox Bl… wait! I know people who will get us access to Kramer's labs." The perky girl whooped. "Just gotta call them." 

She ran to the nearest phone and began dialing in numbers to pester the people she had mentioned. The minutes that followed had her screaming and squealing at the guys she called. Zell tried to get up from the couch to relieve himself, but refused to go because of the evil way Seifer was leering at him. 

"Let me pee!! I'm sorry for telling you to drag your head out of your ass… but you needed to be yelled at!!" he snarled. 

Quistis was peacefully sitting in Seifer's kitchen, drinking tea and ignoring her Zell's loud complaints. It was as if nothing terrible, like Squall's disappearance, had happened between the friends. 

Selphie slammed the phone down, back onto its base. She smirked triumphantly. 

"HAH! Those damned bitches tried to whine their way out… but nothing can get by me. Thought they could ditch all those favors and discounts I gave them. Well, so much for their attempts!" she twirled around. "All rightee… Seifer butt, we're off. Everyone else, stay here… I'll call for back up." 

"First, its just… butt, not Seifer butt. Second, where are we going?" 

"To save your damsel in distress, butt." She tossed him his coat. Things had gone from serious to… well, whatever it changed to the atmosphere had certainly lightened. 

He caught his coat and glared at her… but said nothing against her declaration. 

Selphie bounded out the door, the same way his Squall had hours ago. Seifer had dragged up enough emotion and happiness to smile hopefully. 

~*~ 

"Good evening, Doctor Kramer."   
  
"See you tomorrow, doctor Kramer." 

"Class will be held in the auditorium, is that correct Professor Kramer?" 

"Take care and try not to work too hard, Cid." 

"Closing the labs tonight, eh Mister Kramer… be sure to lock and shut things tight, eh? Good night, Mister Kramer, eh." 

Colleagues, hospital staff, students, and the lab's cleaning crew had left for the night. Hence, leaving Cid Kramer with his rediscovered experiment, his Paradox Bleu. 

The once human, now partly robotic experiment lay barely clothed on the metallic, cold operation table. His eyes were open, unblinking, dilated… and dead looking. 

Kramer had long sought the body that held his experiment. It was unfortunate he lost track of the humanoid when it was misplaced into the consumer category at the L & L lab corporations by a computer glitch. The doctor swore he would never lose the humanoid from this point on. 

The virus had created what he sought to harvest and harness as weaponry of the millennia. His dreams of creating a bestiary from viruses had finally come true as they were growing and multiplying in the host of Paradox Bleu. 

Tomorrow would be a joyous day. Cliché as it sounded to him, Kramer smiled happily, for tomorrow was the day of reckoning. His smile turned cold as he looked at the prostrate humanoid. Squall said nothing, felt nothing… and was nothing to this man. 

"Tomorrow." He sighed, petting the humanoid's hair. 

~_ To Be Continued_

**_rarukuchan says_**: woohoo! This was… unbeta-ed… I swear. It probably shows too. I was going to release chapter 5 and 4 at the same time… but I decided "screw it, exam time calls and I must haul ass. I've held this off for far too long, time for fic post-age."   
It sucks, but hell… it's up. Good riddance… ahahahaha, okies. Off to study and I will be trying to get 5 out by next week. Woohoo! Then I'm done with my first fic! 


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